Tuesday, April 30, 2013

It's you...

I cried on your sleep.
On your chest my tears fell down.
Through your jokes, my smile appeared.
However, none of them can get rid of my sadness.

I have no strength to keep my sadness to myself.
I can't bare these sorrows alone, but I have no one to accompany me going through it.
This life gets harder and harder by every second.
Nothing seems easy and nothing is ever easy.
Nothing looks great without having some colors in it.
When no one sticks around for a long time, blue sky turns to dark grey.
Sky turns to grey as you headed back to your town.
Rain falls to the ground, brings up the smell of the earth.
Crowds are dispersed.
Streets become quiet as the rain gets heavier.
I can't see the path in front of me, for it is hindered by the fact that this world is deserted.
Life is good, but nothing is perfect.
People were created as they are now.
The geniuses are everywhere. yet the one whom God created to always be there has to find the path to where I am.

the person I have just met a year go, now become a person I see everyday.
These thoughts might be cliche, but the fact that my happiness is always because of you can't be denied.
cheer me up when my world is sinking to the seabed and attaches to titanic.
Well you..
are unforgettable.
If you can read my mind, hear my conscience, and feel my heart beat,
you would know that you are never out of my mind.
That you are the rainbow after the storm.
Though you are out of my sight, but you will not be out of my heart. 
are the apple of my eye.
The beauty in the sky.
are the "please don't go"
in all of our good byes.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Back to my hometown

My mind started recalling all the memories in my hometown years ago. It was a very pleasant place to live and to grow as I was a child who was born there. 
In the same city where I learned how to walk, is also where I found people who love me so much aka my best friends. 
The place where I spent most of my time was my house, well my living room actually. 
My routines every morning have never been changed until I graduated from high school, which was before I moved to this country. 
Mom always gives me kisses on my face to wake me up. As soon as I woke up, I would go to the bathroom and she would turned  on the tv and put on MTV for me, because it plays new musics every morning which always made my morning. 
Growing up without my dad, who was in the US at that time, was pretty hard because I didn't get the touch of love from a father directly. Although that I have my mom to do everything for me at home, but it is not complete without having a figure of a father in the family. 
Now that I'm in the process of growing old in this country, I have my dad and not my mom because she is still live where she was years before.
A drastic change is hardly acceptable with me. Because I got used to have my mom does the laundry and cooks for me and now, I have to go to school by myself, do my homework, cook for myself, do the laundry and wake up by myself. 
People said that I whine too much about my situation, which I completely agree with it. However I can't be blame for I used to get spoiled by my parents and I need time to get used to live alone. 
Sooner or later I'm going to live by myself and I just need some more time to enjoy these very last moments to get spoiled by my parents. Is that a wrong freaking thing?

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

A year ago

8 April 2012...
It was the easter sunday at KKI. I was the lector at that day and you were one of the altar servers. We gathered around in the sacristy. We were talking about school. One of our friends asked me where did I go to school and I told her LAGCC and she introduced you to me as the math tutor in there and I was like "YESSSS" It was a jackpot for me man. I was so happy because I saw you since like October 2011 and that day I got a chance to talk to you.

6 May 2012..
It was the first mudika meeting. It was at om Indra's house and you were also there. I forgot why suddenly people were teasing us because I asked your phone number. Well, I did it in purpose though. I used "need a math tutor" as the excuse, which was true a bit but it was mostly about getting your phone number and hanging out with you.
After the meeting, om Nofi dropped us around 92nd street. That was when I found out that we lived just one subway station away. And did you know what I was thinking when he dropped us there? I was hoping actually that you would walk me home but you did not. Well, that made sense since that we just knew each other, But smile was never leave my face since that day.

May to June...
I went to your office at LAGCC like almost everyday. Either to ask about my homework or to just hanging around. I even knew everybody in the math lab and they knew me as well. And there was a time when you asked me out to watch Avengers. I agreed and we planned everything perfectly.

1 June 2012..
It was 5pm when I entered LAGCC to meet you. We were fully dressed and after you were done tutoring, we went straight to AMC 34th street and yeah we watched that. It was spring time but it was kinda chilly and I was only wearing my pink top and skirt and a cardigan which is not warm at all. I was freezing but I didn't what to do. After we went to the movie, you took me to astor place for late dinner. We went to OH Taisho and we got the seats by the counter and yeah that was my first date in my entire life even I've ever had bfs before.

April 8th 2013
Today is exactly one year of our first meeting, or the first day that I got your number which I always remember. Last year we were by ourselves, but this year, this day and at this time, we are together having a video call via skype with a feeling of me missing you so freaking kampret badly. The bad signal adds to that miserable feeling. And yeah, I didn't know that we could reach until this point. Anddddd the rest, you have to wait until July. Hugs and kisses :*

There are a lot of things that I've been through to get to this phase with you.
But I shall not share it in here but with you in the right time. Maybe not now, not today, but someday you will know everything.