Monday, April 16, 2012

Presentation about move on

Today (4/16) I presented my essay about my problem that hasn't been solve until now. And it's moving.
"It started last year after I broke up with my boyfriend. I was really okay at that time. But as the time flew, I started to get so sad and started to remember all those things. My friends and families were mad at me because I was so empty. Then, I asked myself if I should move on or not. And I told to myself that I have to move on no matter what.
The advantage if I moved on are that I could concentrate more in school and I would have my life back. And if I'm not moved on, my life would just stop and it wouldn't go anywhere. Because I kept thinking about him and made me stuck in my past without going anywhere. And it could affect my study. I couldn't concentrate in school. The first 2 weeks after the class started, I couldn't get my head into school. I was totally lost.
But there is one thing that holding me back, and it's my feeling to him. I still love him, but I don't have right to love him like I used to have because I am now his no body and I don't deserve his love anymore.
There are some alternatives for m like keeping myself busy with school assignment and doing my hobbies. On the weekdays, I kept myself busy by practicing questions from the textbook, I read novels and things like that. And on the weekend, I usually go to swim, do some sports or talking with my friends in Indonesia.
But by keeping myself busy with all those things also made me sick. I practiced questions from the book till midnight or I stayed up really late until 3 or 4 am in the morning because I have to call my friends in Indonesia. And yet, I don't have any close friends in here. So, it's pretty hard for me to share my feelings every day.
So my evaluation is I have to keep myself busy with school, find some friends in here and spend time with them, I also have to maintain my eating and sleeping habit, and I have to rearrange my weekdays' and weekend schedule so I won't have to do everything at the same time.
Make an adjustment is also important for me. I have to try not to think about him anymore and try to live without him in my mind."

That's about it. After I finished presented it, people in class started to give comments and questions.
There was a guy asked me why I couldn't get over him. And I said that I couldn't get over him yet because I love him way too much and today is his birthday and I sent him a birthday cake.
And the other said,"aaahh.."
One guy said,"Oh my God, I'm gonna cry."
And I explained why we broke up. I told them it's because of the long distance relationship. Some people just knew that I could handle LDR, but not him. And they said that I am an emotional person.
But I have to move on no matter what. And they added, "From today, no sending cakes, cards, or anything every again. Okay?"
I answered, "Yes. This would be the last things I'm going to give him. And I hope he love it. After this, I don't what."
They all aahh-ing
I was so glad that they also supported me :")
After class ended, Noel came to me and said that he felt so bad hearing my stories and he also said that I am attractive and I could get another guy and I have to get another guy.
Then, I walked out from the class and a lady said that I have to move on. There are plenty of handsome guys here in New York City *agree with that mam!*
When I headed into the lift, I met my classmates also, Sean and Clayton. We were still talking about that problem. 
Sean said, "If it's New York and Pennsylvania, it is a long distance relationship. But it's New York and Indonesia man. It's a longer distance relationship." 
Sean also added, "Why don't he come here to go to school here with you? You know that if he really loves you, he would do anything to get back with you."
Clayton said, "I felt really sorry about you. I was going to cry when you said it's his birthday today, you sent him a cake, post cards, and you still love him. Wow. That was just heart touching."
Then we walked along together, the 3 of us, and were still discussing about my problem.
We stopped in front of the M building. Sean said good bye to us the he crossed the street. And I said good bye to Clayton. I was going to shake his hands but then he said, "Come give me a hug, it'll make you feel better." Then I left.
It is so very nice that people around you or classmates understand how you feel and wanted to help you solve your problems.
In this critical thinking class, we didn't know each other, but we shared out personal problems and things, but all of us respect each other very well and we helped each other.
Well, when I started to talk about love, I did very very good and they might get teary eyes.

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