Friday, April 27, 2012

What would you say about this?

What's the first thing you have in your mind when you see this??
Feel sorry? Or you just ignore it??
When I first saw this picture and read the statement, I felt like my heart was being punched.
Didn't you feel the same?
What I saw these days just like what it says. We cried because we don't have iPhone or something else that is so "IN" right now. While other people are crying because they don't have food.

As I see teenagers these days, they always asked their parents to buy them expensive things, like iPhone.
Parents would always say yes, and did anything to get it for you. They wouldn't be able to say no to you because you are their child.
They would work a lot harder or even try to get another job so they could earn money more and buy you that iPhone. They wouldn't tell you what they have been through to get you that gadget.
After they collected enough money, they would buy it secretly and put it on your bed as a surprise.
You were so excited, you thanked them, than you used the phone, it broke, you repaired it, you broke it again, it couldn't be repaired, and you asked for the new one again. That's a cycle that usually happens. And parents would do the same thing as they did.
Sometimes we don't care how hard and how many sacrifices our parents have been through to feed us, to cloth us, to educate us, and to raise us.
We can only ask, ask, ask.
When we were a kid, the only thing in their mind were how to make your family stay alive, put you into school, and wait until you earn your master degree. But as you grew up, you knew things, you met new people, and you started to misunderstand what this life was about.
We thought that we have to own this thing, that thing in order to fit in with the place where you are standing right now.
We rarely look around us, look those people who have a lot less than us.
We rarely share what we have, or give a dollar to a homeless.
We only care about ourselves, and our reputation.
For now and for some of us, our parents are still here with us. We could still ask them for money.
But how if the next day they're gone? To whom should you ask for money if you have no job yet?
Thennnnn, you would blame yourself for not saving the money.

Try to take a look at this man. A poor old man with breads on his hands, wiping his cheek from tears, and we can see a house that is broken down. I don't know if that is his house or not.
But all I could tell is that he is suffering to feed his family. He has no food, no house. He only has tears and 3 breads left on his hands.
Compare to yourself now. Who do you think is poorer? You or him?
We would know the answer just by looking at the picture.
When was the last time you wiped your tears for not having food to eat?
When was the last time you have no house for shelter?
It never happened to us, but not to this man.
Do you know how sad it is when you have no money to buy food, no place to sleep?
You now have everything this man could ever wanted. You have a lot of foods in your refrigerator, a big comfy house, and money.

This man is crying because he doesn't have food for his family.
You cried because you don't have iPhone.
This is an obvious difference.
Why should you buy iPhone when you still have phone that is able to talk, text, and web searching?
Why don't you donate some of the money to those homeless??
You don't have to answer it. Because I know that it is so hard for you to give some of what you have to the poor. You rather trade your money in Apple store.
Look at around you. There are a lot of poor people who wanted to be like you.
They would say you are so lucky.
But you, you would say you are lucky when iPhone is in your hand. Other than that, you would say you are normal.
Some of us are spoiled brats who got what we wanted and showed to people what we have.
While the rest are richer than us but they are down to earth. They never brag, and they helped poor people.
The point is, do not ever cry because you don't have a certain gadget or stuffs. But cry hard when you have nothing left in your life except 3 breads.
And try to put yourself in his situation. What would you feel??

Our good bye

Wind blew my hair, as we headed to the front of the departure gate.
People passed us by.
Some were arriving, while the rest were leaving.
And there we were, standing in front of the departure gate.
Waiting for the right time for me to enter it.
There was no word that I could utter.
There was no will to say good bye.
There was no courage to start living without you.
All the sudden, 
I could hear nothing but your voice,
I could see nothing but your face,
I could feel nothing but your warm hug.
The clock was ticking.
It was the time that I had to go.
I reached up to you for a hug.
A short warm hug, which will hardly be forgotten.
You looked into my eyes without saying a word.
Your eyes were trying to influence my mind for not going inside.
The sky was getting darker
The wind was getting stronger
My soul was getting weaker,
weaken by your smile.
A smile that always melts my heart, freezes my words, reminds me of how loveable we were.
Words were not the right tool to express my feeling.
It was getting worst by the fact that I actually had to leave.
Staying was the key, but that was not an option.
Leaving was the destiny, that could not be changed by any of us.
Promise that I will never forget you had been made.
That was my last task.

I walked step by step entering the gate,
Releasing your hands, 
Disabling my ears from hearing my ears,
Keeping my sight away from you,
Leaving you,
The rain was falling from the sky, right after I turned away my face.
From the distance, I could still see you were waving at me
I could see you say good bye.
As you gone from my sight, I cried very hard.
I lost my voice.
And I just remember that I forgot one thing.
I forgot to stare right into your eyes and tell you how much I love you.
But when you hugged me, I did whisper one thing.
It was, "I don't want to lose you."

This is not the end.
But it is enough to make me broken hearted.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Him or him ??

This is my friend story also. She just broke up with her boyfriend not so long ago. They were fine. They talked, text, and I think still hanging out for a couple of times. Let's call this first guy is A.
Hmm.. She is now in the process of chasing the guy she likes. But they live in different country. But they talk everyday. And let's call this second guy is B.
The thing is she got jealous when A is texting with another girl. Wait! Doesn't it weird? She doesn't have the right to be jealous with him anymore right? She is not his girlfriend anymore, she is now just his friend. Why does she have to be jealous? And this jealous thing made her make quotes that are so harsh and pointed to A indirectly.
This story gets more interesting when she said that she wants to be with B, but she always jealous with A. It is like being jealous without any specific reasons. And when B didn't text her, she would spontaneously miss A.
I said, "WHAATT??"
This is a complicated situation between three hearts. It is hard enough to deal with 2 hearts, and now 3? Ayayay..
She confused whether she loves A or B. 
She wants to be with B, but she said that she doesn't deserve B.
She wondered if she still have that feeling to A
What do you think about this? Confusing right? (the problem or my sentences?lol)

I warned her, not to "use" a person, especially if that person loves you so very much.
I told her that she does not have any right to be jealous with A. Although A said that he is willing to wait for her, it doesn't mean he couldn't text other girls. She also cannot insult him in any way, with words or acts. Because B used to be in her heart right? So why after they broke up, they have hate each other. That is not love man.
Love is even you broke up, but you always have a nice relationship with your ex.
Although it might be weird, but it is the best for both side.
I suggested her to think more and more deeply about who she truly loves. Not because he is rich, smart, or anything, but think about who can make her happy with their marriage in the future, who is going to spend their whole life with her until death that separate both of them.
Money, it does come and go, but if you are able to manage it correctly, it will double up every second.
But love, once you picked the bad one and let go of the best one, it's hard to get it back. It's like giving away gold and taking a rock. It is nothing.
Him or him? Choose one that best fit with your personality and can deal with your good and bad habits.

Just be yourself

For the past 3 weeks, my friend told me that she fell in love with a boy, her friend, but they have nothing in common.
This guy came from the same place as her, but now he lives in Australia to study. She said that he is a rich kid. His parents own hotel and resort or something. Basically this guy is super rich and super smart.
Although the world is on his hands, but he is modest, he doesn't drink neither smoke, he is smart, he speaks English well, and he do anything by himself.
Those are the things that made my fellow lost her spirit to get this guy.
She admitted to me that she is not smart enough, she can't speak English, she is not as rich as him. She kept comparing herself with him.
She afraid if he doesn't want her to be his girlfriend because she's dumb.
Well, I would say that if this guy really loves her, he would be her boyfriend no matter she's dumb, not rich, and not on the same degree as her.
She added, his parents' have international relations. They connected with people outside Indonesia for their business. She scared she couldn't answer what his mom said if she got invited to his house. And also, she afraid that she wouldn't be able to fit in around his family.
I told her to start learn English. It's hard but if she has the will, nothing is hard. 
This is an example of my friend's love life (lika liku cinta temen gue)
And this might happen to some of you guys, who felt that our partner has more than we do.
When we started thinking that way, we preferred to  just stay away from them and forget that we ever love them.
Maybe he is rich, and we are not. He is smart and we are average. He has a car, we have nothing.
Those are things that could drop our spirit.
Just remember that e-ve-ry one has their own weakness, has their own deficiency.
Not everyone is rich. Not everyone is smart. Not everyone has their own car, especially when they are still teenagers and they lived with their parents.
Do not let those things bring us down. But make them as your challenge to be a better person.
Do not let your weaknesses get over you, but you have to be over them.
Especially when it comes to love, you have to do everything to get the person you love.
If he is smarter than you, then study a lot harder, don't cheat!
If he speaks English more fluent than you, sign up for English course, practice everyday.
If he is richer than you, remember he still lives with his parents, so he is not the one that rich. Beside, even though you are not rich today, but as soon as you finish college, get a job, and get a good salary, you will be rich as well.
Don't think too much about what you don't have today. You are still young, still have a long way to go, and you still have the chance to be more than you are now.
Once you given up, it's hard to get that spirit again.
And always have positive thoughts. Though you know you can't, say that you CAN. Because it motivates your mind indirectly. And if you keep that positive thinking, you might get what you want.

When we talked about love, we talked about sacrifices also.
If you have changed to a better person, smarter, more intelligent, more mature, but you didn't get that person, at least you changed to a better person.
Those improvements might give you another better person for you to spend together for the rest of your life.

Feeling remains the same

Things might change, but my love for you will always be the same.
Until a girl came to your life and made you forget all about me.
Or a guy came to my life and made me slowly forget about you.
But is that possible for me to forget you after all those sweet things we have done together.
It will take years even centuries to demolish memories that had been sculpted in my heart.
So far, I am not ready to move to another heart, but I have to do it.
Until now, I still feel how comfortable I was when I'm with you.
For now, I have to keep this feeling for myself without telling you anything about it, cause I might have known about it.
Here or there, no matter where I am, where you are, I feel like you always beside me.
Communicating or not, I know when I come to you, you would listen to me.
Meeting face to face or meeting via skype, your face always in my heart and I can never make it fade away.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

You are my everything

How can I see the world if you're gone? 
How can I walk when you are not here?
How can I breathe if you were never exist?
How can I talk when you are my words?
How can I hear things if you're not the one who talk?
How can I see the path when you're not shining
How can I know where to go if you're not with me?

You are my eyes, who guide me to see this world.
Without you, I can see no star, no sunlight, no love, and you.
You are my feet when I fell.
Without you, I wouldn't meet you from the first place.
You are my oxygen when this earth is full of pollution.
You are exist for me.
Without you, there is no me. Because I was created from your ribs.
You are the words that I bundled to make a song for us.
Without you, songs will never be made. 
You are the voice that I can hear clearly no matter how far you are.
Without you, the world is empty because there is no such lovely voice as yours.
You are the light that shines every single day of my life.
Without you, I would stumble and fall for not able to see where I should go.
You are the map of my life.
Without you, I don't know which way should I take next.

Will I survive?

This college things kinda get right into me.
College is fun when you have your best friends with you. But it's no fun if you go to college in a new place with new people.
It is fun to be in a new place. But with their attitude which always fucked me up, I hardly say it's fun.
Some of them are friendly enough, but most of them are just so arrogant.
They tend to come to us when they needed us. And after that they would just dump us like a piece o garbage. Was that all about?
They don't know what does it feel like to be treated that way. Well, maybe because they have never being treated that way.
Bitches are all over the place. They might have the look, but do they have the brain? Not sure about that.
Every time I'm struggling with my assignment, I don't know to whom should I discuss it. 
People in here are independent. I like that. But if they said that they are independent, why do they always come to me when they were struggling? And when I asked them to help me, they always say that they couldn't or they didn't know what I was talking about. That is so not fair.
Life is getting tougher and tougher each day since the first day of school. I was so excited about going to college. I though I will make a lot of new friends, when the fact is that I couldn't even fit in to this place.
Their culture is way different than mine. I am a person who like to help people and I always get helped from people. I like it when we, as classmates, discuss homework problems. I like it when people in school not just friends in school, but also friends who I can hang out with.
But that's just my imagination. The truth is way beyond what I expected.
And it is even harder when we are "alone" with no support from people around us.
A friend of mine felt the same thing as me. Our question is "Will we survive in this place?"
Yes we will. One step at a time, and we will be able to fit in, survive, and shine among the rest.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Love will find its way

Love comes and goes.
When it comes, you are the most happiest person in this whole wide world.
Everything suddenly became pink and heart shaped.
Everything made you happy.
Everything gave you a smile.
Every move you made, you were smiling.
It was your best day when it comes to love.

When it left, you are the most unlucky person in this earth.
Your blue sky turned grey.
Your halo circle gone.
Your angle heart changed into devil heart.
Clouds covered every step you made.
Sadness embrace within your soul.
That was the most painful feeling you have ever feel.

Well, we can't hold love for too long unless it belongs to us.
If it is not belong to us, we have to set it free.
Once you set it free, you have to get yourself to find a new one.
When you couldn't let go of the old one, hang in there. Because if you have tried to let it go but it never go away from you, it might belongs to you. It needs time to go back to be yours again.
Just like all kids' grandma said, "If you love a person so badly, but they walked away from you, just give 'em some time. If they are truly meant for you, they will find ways to get back to you."
Or what teenagers these days said, "Love will find its way man. Don't worry about it."
Yeah, love will find its way to get back to your arms. Just be patient and hang in there, on in the tree. 
But if it never comes back, whether you want it or not, just let it go. Maybe your destiny is still out there and you haven't meet them yet. But soon, you will.
God has planned marvelous things for us. All we have to do is be patient. 
God is not fast, but He never late.

Uncontroled appetite

Appetite is controlled with our brain.
We usually feel hungry after we woke up, over study, or after we exercised.
Some of us can control how much portion should we eat to get full. But some are not.
There are many factors that make you eat more than you suppose to.
Sleepless can make someone eat 300 more calories than usual. We have to sleep 7 to 8 hours per day in order to make our brain working properly. Having a good night sleep with an exact amount of time, helps you to have an ideal body, and you will have a happy and energetic day.
Stress. Having too much things going on in your head is not good. About l 30 percent people I knew, lost their appetite when they were stress. The remain 70 percent gained their appetite.
When people are stress, they eat everything they see without counting the calories in it. They eat to calm themselves down. Although it works, but it's bad for your body. Eating is not the best way to reduce stress. Try hanging out with friends, talk with somebody about your problems, go to the beach, or even shopping. Those are the alternatives.
Also, even when you are stressed out, and you wanted to eat, control yourself to eat healthy food, such as salads or fruits. Put away the junk foods from your refrigerator or any place in your home or room.

Sweet. Almost everyone love sweets or sweet flavor. Why not? Eating or drinking something sweet is so yummy. When you eat or drink sweet thing, your appetite intend to increase. Like when you eat a candy, you will not just eat one, you will eat another one and another one, and then you realized that you have just ate a box of candy.
Consuming sweet foods is good, because our body also need sugar to give us energy. But it doesn't mean that we can consume sugar beyond what we have to. We have to manage how much sugar should we consume each day. Brown sugar can be a replacement for the regular sugar.

Sick. Being sick make yourself weak and unable to do anything. That's because the viruses inside your body is a lot stronger than you are. Why? Because you didn't eat properly when you were healthy. So, when you got sick, doctor would tell you to eat more and more in order to help you gain your strength and for your body to fight against the viruses. 
If you got hospitalized, you will be infused. The liquid in the infuse increased your appetite. Therefore, you will eat more.

Starving. People who are in bad diet program, usually eat once a day or they ate breakfast and lunch only, and they left themselves starving from evening until the next morning. This is a very bad eating habit. Because by letting yourself starving for more than 12 hours, increased your appetite in the next day. The next day when you woke up, you would find something to eat. At first you took a bite then added another bite, and added another bite. After you finished the first meal, it is possible for you to take another meal to eat because you did not feel full yet.
It is better for us to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But we have to eat properly. Not less and not too much.

When I made this post, I thought that it's funny how the causes I wrote started with S.
There are 5S caused uncontrolled appetite then ;)
But behind those 5 negative S, we always and also need 1 positive S and that is SUPPORT.
Support from family, friends, and people around you do make you feel good and want to be healthy.
It is better for you, who read this, to really take care of your eating habit.
There are advantages if you change your bad eating habit from today.
You will be healthier and you will have an ideal body.
Eating healthy and well organized are hard. But you have to think about the advantages of it. Not only for today, but for your future.
Eat healthy!!

Every time I spent with you

Every time I spent with you is priceless.
All the time that we have been through together, will always be in here, in my heart, and in here, in my mind.
Every time you hold my hand, I feel safe.
Every hugs that you gave, I feel your warmth.
Smiles that you threw on me, made me blush.
The way your eyes stared at mine, frozen up my mouth from saying a word.
Every time you asked me out, I would secretly jump all over in my room.
When I was with you in the car, I expected you to hold my hand, sing a long with me, or just tell jokes and stuffs that would make me laugh so hard.
I enjoyed every second we had together.
I love every stupid things you did to me.
Although you like to tickle me or tease me, it doesn't matter. Because I know there will be no one who can do the same things as what you did.
I wished that the time would go very very slow when I was with you.
 Stuffs that you ever gave me, remain in my room.
Your scarf, always in my bag. 
When I was with you, I wanted time to just freeze so I don't have to go home to say good bye and let you go.
I am drown in your love, lost in your heart, beaten by the fact that I couldn't see you everyday, killed by the distance, disappointed by my stupid attitude for not telling you how much I love you.
And now there is only one thing in my mind. I miss you.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmm ...

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

Download here:
Watch the clip here:

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Finding friends :""

This lonely thing sort of get into me even worst. There are a lot of obvious facts why I feel this way.
My best friends, friends, family who are in Indonesia are we awake when I'm asleep and are asleep when I'm awake. It's so hard to adjust our time with this 12 hours different timezone.
Not just about timezone, them and I also have school or work to do. So it's not like time is in our hand but time is in assignment and work's hand. If we didn't go to school, we will fail. If we did not focus on working, we would lose our only job.
Even when I have to stay up late until morning, they are not always able to accompany me or listen to my story because the have homework, works, or they have to clean their house and stuffs. It is basically hard to live far away from your best friends with a different timezone.
If we live far from each other but we are in the same timezone, there is no problem at all. We can adjust our weekend schedule or fter school schedule, so we can have time to talk to each other.

Why didn't I find friends in here?
It is really hard to find friends in a new country or city. Especially if they are not your type-kinda-friend. Like, you used to have friends that are listened to you and you listened to you also. And when you guys tell stories, you guys would give feedback/respond to what the other said. Not just by saying "oh"
I found that some or even most people in here are likely to be listened rather than listening. So when I talked to a certain person, I rarely got a related feedback of what I was talking about. But, when they were talking to me, they expected me to listen to them carefully and to help them solve their problems and even to give related feedback. I mean, what was that all about. That is so not fair. I listened but you never listened. I gave feedback, but you gave shit out of what I was saying. I don't know. It is just too hard dealing with people in here.
I may be a picky kinda person. But being a little bit picky is better rather than being used by someone you just knew. When you chose certain people to be your friends, you must have been knew that they might be good to be friends with.
There is also a moment where you have friend(s), you hang out, but you don't feel like they are worthy to be your friends, because of some reason. Maybe they are jerks and you can't deal with those kind of person, or they are like what I said, like to be listened but don't want to listen.
I'm a type of person who like to listen to what other people said and to give feed back, and I also like to be listened.
It is hard to find new friends when you both are young adults, because they have different ways of thinking.
Knowing people since you were in junior high school or high school gives you chance to be friend with them for a long time or even forever, who knows.
It happens to me. Although I am now not in Indonesia anymore, but me and my friends keep contacting each other. I sacrificed some of my time to call them and they did the same thing too sometimes.
But there are some times when I got no one to talk with the whole day which made my phone turned into a fake phone, because it wasn't receiving any bbm, text, or anything else.
I kinda upset when it happens.
Like right now, I have a bunch of stories to tell, but I have no one to talk to.
I could share my stories to my parents, but not all of my stories can be told to parents, for example boys things. It is so impossible for me to tell them about a boy whom I like, or what I did to a boy in Bali, or things like that. I can share how my school is going, but I can never share how my heart is feeling, except if they ask me. If they don't, do not ever expect me to throw something out of my mouth.
Basically, finding close friends are freakingly hard!!!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Miley Cyrus inspired me

I was in my 9th grade when the series of Hannah Montana was on Disney Channel. I started to watch that every day and I never missed a single episode.
I love her songs, her looks, and everything about her.
That day, I was a really really fat girl. But then after I watched her "Hannah Montana" the series everyday, I wanted to be like her. A skinny beautiful white skin kinda girl.
So, I started to go to the gym. I worked out very very hard. I controlled my eating habit.
And, VOILA!! In just 2-3 months, I lost 10kgs. I was 78 kgs then I was 68.
3 months later I lost more than 10 kgs.
In just 6 months, I lost a total of 24 kgs.
It was all because of her. I watched her every day and I kinda got jealous of her. 
She is so beautiful, skinny, and talented. Her songs are inspiring. Some of her songs were just like my situation that day.
I used to be a boy-ish kind of girl. But since I knew her, I became more feminine.
I used to wear jeans and t-shirt everywhere I went. But now I chose short pants, skirt, and dress as my outfit. I even took care of myself. I cut my hair, I cleaned my face, and things like that.
She truly is my inspiration.
And until today, I'm still a big fan of her.
I may not put her photos on my wall. I may not know everything about her. All I know is that she inspired me to change my life.
Although, I listened to her songs, I watched her video clips, I bought her Hannah Montana the movie and the last song. I collected her original hannah montana album and hannah montana meets miley cyrus album. And now I'm trying to get the third one.
Every time I saw her on television, I would not change the channel. 
I really really want to meet her in person. But we live so far away. And I heard that she's going to move to Australia. I don't if that's true or not.
I am so glad that her boyfriend is Liam Hemsworth. He is sooooo handsome and he got the abs. Who doesn't want to be his girlfriend? Miley is so lucky to have him. Marry him, Miley! ;)
I don't care if people teased her in her third album. I don't care what she wears now. I don't care if she posed naked on her photo shoot.
All I care is that she helped me to be a new person and helped to be able to fit in in this teenage world.
Thank you Miley/Hannah!


Demi Lovato - Don't Forget

Did you forget
That I was even alive
Did you forget
Everything we ever had
Did you forget
Did you forget
About me

Did you regret
Ever standing by my side
Did you forget
What we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

So now I guess
This is where we have to stand
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand
Never again
Please don't forget
Don't forget

We had it all
We were just about to fall
Even more in love
Than we were before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

Somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
At all

And at last
All the pictures have been burned
And all the past
Is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forget
Please don't forget us

But somewhere we went wrong
Our love is like a song
But you won't sing along
You've forgotten
About us
Download here:
Watch the clip here:

Justin Bieber - That Should Be Me

Everybody's laughing in my mind
Rumors spreading 'bout this other guy
Do you do what you did when you
Did with me
Does he love you the way I can
Did you forget all the plans
That you made with me
'cause baby I didn't

That should be me
Holdin' your hand
That should be me
Makin' you laugh
That should be me
This is so sad
That should be me
That should be me
That should be me
Feelin' your kiss
That should be me
Buyin' you gifts
This is so wrong,
I can't go on,
Till you believe that
That should be me

That should be me
You said you needed a little time
For my mistakes
It's funny how you use that time
To have me replaced
But did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies
What you doin' to me
You're takin' him where we used to go
Now if you're tryin' to break my heart
It's working 'cause you know that

That should be me
Holdin' your hand
That should be me
Makin' you laugh
That should be me
This is so sad
That should be me
That should be me
That should be me
Feelin' your kiss
That should be me
Buyin' you gifts
This is so wrong,
I can't go on,
Till you believe that
That should be me

I need to know, should I fight for love or disarm
It's getting harder to shield
This pain in my heart

That should be me
Holdin' your hand
That should be me
Makin' you laugh
That should be me
This is so sad
That should be me
That should be me
That should be me
Feelin' your kiss
That should be me
Buyin' you gifts
This is so wrong,
I can't go on,
Till you believe that
That should be me
Holding your hand
That should be me
The one making you laugh, oh baby
That should be me
(that should be me giving you flowers)
That should be me
Talking for hours that should be me, that should be me
That should be me
Never should've let you go
I never should've let you go
That should be me
I'm never gonna let you go
Download here:
Watch the clip here:

Miley Cyrus - When I look at you (OST The Last Song)

Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights are so long

'cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light
To break up the dark
That's when I
I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I
I look at you

When I look at you
I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I know I'm not alone

Yeah when my world is falling apart
When there's no light
To break up the dark
That's when I
I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I
I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me
All I need
Every breath that I breathe
Don't you know you're beautiful
Yeah yeah

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I
I look at you

I look at you
You appear just like a dream to me

Download here:

Katy Perry - The One That Got Away

Summer after high school when we first met
We made out in your Mustang to Radiohead
And on my 18th Birthday
We got matching tattoos

Used to steal your parents' liquor
And climb to the roof
Talk about our future
Like we had a clue
Never planned that one day
I'd be losing you

In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away

I was June and you were my Johnny Cash
Never one without the other we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you
I put those records on (Whoa)

Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you downtown singing the Blues
It's time to face the music
I'm no longer your muse

But in another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
The o-o-o-o-o-one [x3]
The one that got away

All this money can't buy me a time machine (Nooooo)
Can't replace you with a million rings (Nooooo)
I should've told you what you meant to me (Whoa)
'Cause now I pay the price

In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
The o-o-o-o-o-one [x3]

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
Download here:
Watch the clip here:

The Script - Breakeven

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
One still in love while the other one's leaving
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
(Oh glad your okay now)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(Oh I'm glad your okay)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
Download here:
Watch the clip here:

Colie Caillat - Bubbly

"Will you count me in?"

I've been away for a while now
You got me feeling like a child now
Cause every time I see your bubble face
I get the tingles in a silly place

It starts in my toes
And I crinkled my nose
Where every it goes, I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is fallin' on my window pane
But we are hidin' in a safer place
Under the covers stayin safe and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

They starr in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way?
I just, mmm...

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know that you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It startes in my soul 
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin' shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holding me tight

Wherever, wherever, wherever you go
Wherever, wherever, wherever you go

Download here:

Presentation about move on

Today (4/16) I presented my essay about my problem that hasn't been solve until now. And it's moving.
"It started last year after I broke up with my boyfriend. I was really okay at that time. But as the time flew, I started to get so sad and started to remember all those things. My friends and families were mad at me because I was so empty. Then, I asked myself if I should move on or not. And I told to myself that I have to move on no matter what.
The advantage if I moved on are that I could concentrate more in school and I would have my life back. And if I'm not moved on, my life would just stop and it wouldn't go anywhere. Because I kept thinking about him and made me stuck in my past without going anywhere. And it could affect my study. I couldn't concentrate in school. The first 2 weeks after the class started, I couldn't get my head into school. I was totally lost.
But there is one thing that holding me back, and it's my feeling to him. I still love him, but I don't have right to love him like I used to have because I am now his no body and I don't deserve his love anymore.
There are some alternatives for m like keeping myself busy with school assignment and doing my hobbies. On the weekdays, I kept myself busy by practicing questions from the textbook, I read novels and things like that. And on the weekend, I usually go to swim, do some sports or talking with my friends in Indonesia.
But by keeping myself busy with all those things also made me sick. I practiced questions from the book till midnight or I stayed up really late until 3 or 4 am in the morning because I have to call my friends in Indonesia. And yet, I don't have any close friends in here. So, it's pretty hard for me to share my feelings every day.
So my evaluation is I have to keep myself busy with school, find some friends in here and spend time with them, I also have to maintain my eating and sleeping habit, and I have to rearrange my weekdays' and weekend schedule so I won't have to do everything at the same time.
Make an adjustment is also important for me. I have to try not to think about him anymore and try to live without him in my mind."

That's about it. After I finished presented it, people in class started to give comments and questions.
There was a guy asked me why I couldn't get over him. And I said that I couldn't get over him yet because I love him way too much and today is his birthday and I sent him a birthday cake.
And the other said,"aaahh.."
One guy said,"Oh my God, I'm gonna cry."
And I explained why we broke up. I told them it's because of the long distance relationship. Some people just knew that I could handle LDR, but not him. And they said that I am an emotional person.
But I have to move on no matter what. And they added, "From today, no sending cakes, cards, or anything every again. Okay?"
I answered, "Yes. This would be the last things I'm going to give him. And I hope he love it. After this, I don't what."
They all aahh-ing
I was so glad that they also supported me :")
After class ended, Noel came to me and said that he felt so bad hearing my stories and he also said that I am attractive and I could get another guy and I have to get another guy.
Then, I walked out from the class and a lady said that I have to move on. There are plenty of handsome guys here in New York City *agree with that mam!*
When I headed into the lift, I met my classmates also, Sean and Clayton. We were still talking about that problem. 
Sean said, "If it's New York and Pennsylvania, it is a long distance relationship. But it's New York and Indonesia man. It's a longer distance relationship." 
Sean also added, "Why don't he come here to go to school here with you? You know that if he really loves you, he would do anything to get back with you."
Clayton said, "I felt really sorry about you. I was going to cry when you said it's his birthday today, you sent him a cake, post cards, and you still love him. Wow. That was just heart touching."
Then we walked along together, the 3 of us, and were still discussing about my problem.
We stopped in front of the M building. Sean said good bye to us the he crossed the street. And I said good bye to Clayton. I was going to shake his hands but then he said, "Come give me a hug, it'll make you feel better." Then I left.
It is so very nice that people around you or classmates understand how you feel and wanted to help you solve your problems.
In this critical thinking class, we didn't know each other, but we shared out personal problems and things, but all of us respect each other very well and we helped each other.
Well, when I started to talk about love, I did very very good and they might get teary eyes.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Fall In Love - quote


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Good luck you seniors :*

This post is dedicated to all my juniors whose senior year is about to end.
Today, April 12, 2012 is their last day in school. And they will face Final National Examination on April 16, 2012.
This test is very important for them to continue their future education.
No matter who you are, if you read this, let us pray, so that all the senior kids in high school get through the final national examination well. And may they pass the test with good scores.
And for those who are going to continue their education to university or college, we hope you guys do well in the placement tests and may you guys get into the university or college you dreamed of.
And may you and us all success in the future. Amen.

This post maybe nothing. But I hope it cheers you up a little bit and I hope you know that we all pray for you guys.
Y'all can do it. Just believe it, do your best, and pray, and you will pass the exam.
I prayed especially for my high school, SMAK Santo Yoseph Bali. May all the seniors pass the exam.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Best one in Jakarta :")

Hanamizuki (movie)

This is a really good movie. It is a Japanese movie. And it is about a girl and a boy who had to have a long distance relationship but then they broke up. But somehow, they got back together again.
It started in Hokkaido when Sae (girl) was in a train to go to her school. But the train crashed a deer, so all the passengers have to move out from the train. She was about to have an exam. She was confused but there was a boy (Kohei) who liked her and decided to help her. They went to Kohei's uncle's house. But they couldn't find anyone in there. With the courage they had, Kohei drove his uncle's car.
He drove a little bit fast, that made the car went into a farm and it broke down. They both had to go to hospital with not any serious problems. Since then, they started to like each other and spent some time together.
One day, Kohei brought Sae to a lighthouse. It was cold. Kohei put Sae's hand into his jacket. They stood closer to each other and he kissed her in the sunset.
Sae was a high school girl, whose mother was a nurse and father had died since she was 5.
Kohei was a high school boy, whose father was a sailor and their family own a fish company.
Sae was very determined to move to Tokyo to go to a university. She studied very hard, and she got in. She was very happy, but not for Kohei. He wished Sae never made to that university so they could spend  their whole life together. But reality spoke different.
On the day Sae had to leave for Tokyo, she saw Kohei's ship in the sea on her way to the airport. Fro that ship, Kohei made a banner written "GOOD LUCK SAE!"
They were shouting at each other, giving support, and Sae said that she would be back.

In Tokyo, Sae met a photographer. His name was Junichi. He annoyed Sae at the first time they met. But then they started to get along, because Junichi helped Sae finding a job.
Suddenly, Kohei went to Tokyo without telling Sae. He was in front of her school. When he saw her, he was about to call her name, but then he saw Junichi was with her. So he decided to just remained silent.
It was Christmas day. Sae brought Kohei to a restaurant. But before they even ordered anything, Kohei left. And on their way back to Sae's apartment, Kohei fought with strangers because they broke his present for Sae.
In Sae's apartment, Kohei was standing still while Sae grabbed a napkin to wipe blood on Kohei's lips. Sae wiped his lips slowly and then suddenly Kohei hugged her.
A couple of days later, Kohei flew back to Hokkaido.
They were still together. But Sae was getting a lot busier with her school and her activities applying or jobs here and there but did not got accepted in any of them.
At the same time, Kohei lost his dad while they were in the ship fishing.
Kohei called Sae and told her that they should just end it up. 

Junichi came to tell her that he was going to move to New York for his job. And he told Sae to move to New York also so she could have a job. She agreed and she moved along. But I think they did not moved at the same time. Anyway, they moved.
Sae worked as a jurnalist in  company and Junichi worked as a photographer in the same company as Sae. And that time she was really good in English, which was a dream of her.
And she was purposed indirectly by Junichi.
Kohei, in Hokkaido, still was a fisherman. He married Ritsuko, a girl who used to work in his father's company.
Months after Kohei's marriage, Sae came back to Hokkaido to attend Minami's wedding party. Minami was her best friend. In Minami's wedding party, Sae met Kohei with Ritsuko. They talked for a while.
The next day, Sae met Kohei in the lighthouse, the place where they kissed for the first time.
She gave back Kohei's present that was given to her and she told him that she was going to marry Junichi. Kohei asked if Junichi is a good guy or not. Sae said yes.
Kohei drove Sae home. When Sae about to enter the house, she turned back and found Kohei was standing in front of the car. He ran toward her and they hugged each other.

Sae came back to New York and got a letter from Junichi saying that after he came back from Iran, they would get married. She was very happy.
In Hokkaido, Kohei's marriage did not turn out well. They divorced.
Sae who was very happy, got a bad news from Iran. Junichi was dead in his duty to shoot for pictures.
She was heart broken. She made an exhibit dedicated to Junichi. 
That exhibit showed all the pictures that was taken by Junichi. It was all about smile and eyes of children. He loved to take pictures about eyes and smile, because there are meaning behind that smile and eyes of young children.
Sae was a pretty successful woman at that time. So she went back to the place where she was born, Canada. She went to a lighthouse in Canada where she used to go with her parents.
On her way back from the lighthouse, she passed by a small bar and restaurant. She noticed that there was a ship looked like the one Kohei was given to her. She took it and asked to the man in that restaurant. He said that there was a Japanese fisherman guy who was sailing from Japan to Canada and put that miniature ship in the restaurant. That guy said that it belongs to a lady who was born in Canada. The man in the restaurant suggested Sae to go to the port, and she might found that guy.
So she ran as fast as she could. But when she arrived in the port, the ship had left the port. She shouted Kohei's name. But the ship was too far and her voice was too low to be heard by Kohei.

After living in New York for years, she went back to Hokkaido and found that her mother had married again. Minami visited Sae with her husband and son. She was very happy.
She asked whether Minami or her husband knew where Kohei was. But no one knew. They told Sae that he had divorced.
Sae read books to children in English in her house.
One day, she came out from her house after reading a book to children. While she said good bye to everyone, there was a man standing a little far from her. He was staring at her.
He was Kohei. They looked at each other. Then they both ran toward each other and hugged.
The End.
That's about it. It's a happy ending story.
You can watch the movie to understand it better.
It would tearing your eyes up. So don't forget the tissue.
The lesson I learned from this movie is:
What goes around, comes around.
Love, even it's separated by distance,
it would came back to where it belongs.
It's just a matter of time. 

Monday, April 9, 2012

Talk about home

I just can never stop talking about how comfy home is.
Home doesn't always mean house. Home can also means the place where you grew up or the place where your families and friends are.
How happy you would be if you can stay in that place for the rest of your life? It is an unexplainable feeling. But, whether you want it or not, soon you have to move from that place to chase your future or to get a better education or just to have something new.
Moving to a new place with new people, new environments, new situation and condition, and different time zones are hard dude. It is very hard. Although it is something that you want, but it would turned out to be something that you hate. It doesn't happen to everyone though.
In a new place, you have to be able to fit in with everything in there.
Making adjustments take a pretty long time. We don't have magic wand which can BOOM! we can fit it in that place. NO! It is real life, we have no such thing as magic wand. All we have is what we bring every where every day. It is our manner. If we have a bad manner, we would be struggling to fit in. 
Talk about home, once or twice or even more, we would say "I miss my home so damn much"
Well yeah of course, who wouldn't?
Home is like the best place ever. Especially if our home has tons of cheap foods and stuffs. Even though we are rich, we would think twice on spending that much money on foods and stuffs.
Home, no matter what does it look like, no matter where it is located, it's still HOME!
Home is always be a sweet home.
When you are away from home, you would craving to go home. Thousand dollar ticket would be bought by you, just to go home.
It is true that no place is better than.
I love you my home. :")

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Jesus Sacrifice

His disciple handed him over to the Jewish.
He was praying at Gethsemane park when Judas came with a crowd of people who were about to arrest Jesus.
Then he brought Jesus to Pontius Pilate. Pilate investigated Jesus, but he found no guilt on Jesus.
He was going to release Jesus, but the crowd told Pilate to crucify him and released Barabas, who was a prisoner. Pilate could do nothing. He did what they asked.
Jesus was dragged into the street. They wove a crown out of thorns and place it on Jesus' head.
They struck him repeatedly. They spitted on him. They humiliated him. And they put a big cross on Jesus shoulder.
Jesus brought that cross to Calvary.
Along the way, people spitted on him, the soldiers mock him, Jesus fell down for several times.
He met his afflicted mother, he met Veronica who wiped his face, he met the women of Jerusalem.
When he arrived in Golgotha, the place of the skull, the soldiers stripped his clothes, divided it and cast lots of it. They left him a piece of garments only.
After that, Jesus was nailed upon the cross. On both of his hands and his feet. The pain was all over Jesus' body. He was covered with blood and pain and suffering.
He couldn't do anything, He gave everything he had to his Father in heaven.
He said to Father,
"Father, forgive them for they not know what they do"
Mary, his mother, with his disciples came under his cross. He told his disciples to call this woman, their mother. 
Mary could feel the suffering that his son felt. 
After hanging on the cross for several hours, Jesus was thirsty, so he asked the soldiers to give him something to drink. They gave him vinegar to drink and Jesus didn't drink it.
Suddenly, darkness covered the whole land and the curtain of the temple was torn in the middle.
At 3 p.m. Jesus said to his Father,
"It is finish. Father, into your hand, I commend my spirit."
Then Jesus died.
One of the soldiers who saw that, came closer to Jesus cross. He opened Jesus' side with a lance. And there came blood and water from it.
Immediately, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate if he could take Jesus' body away. He gave the permission.
Since the next day was Sabbath, they wrapped Jesus body in linen cloth and laid him in the tomb.
Then he rolled a large stone against the entrance of the tomb.
That's just a shorter version of way of the cross.
Jesus had done sacrifices for us sinners. We made sins everyday and Jesus is the one who has to pay for it.
He was tortured by the Jewish and the soldiers and he did nothing. He accepted it.
He went though it with patient and without cry.
He did it for us. And what have we gave him so far? NOTHING!
We only gave him torture, humiliation, we wove a crown of thorns, we made him carry his own cross to Calvary. He stumbled, fell for many times, but he stood up and continued his torture.
He did for us.
We are one of those people who torture Jesus.
We have to responsible for what we have done to Jesus.
He gave up everything to pay for our sins, so we will survive.
He suffered for us. He died for us. And he did it because he loves us, who are sinners.
What kind of good things have you done to Jesus?
What will happen to us if Jesus never sacrifice his life for us?
Have you make a confession about your sins this lent season?

Jesus sacrificed his life to save us. But we can never sacrifice some of what we have for others.
So, let's make this lent season holy. Not just for this season, but make it each everyday of your life.
Give some of what you have. If you see homeless people, give them some money. If you see hungers, feed them. If you see naked people, cloth them.
Because you will never know when Jesus would disguise as one of them.

Happy Easter Day!