Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I don't want to lose you again

Losing means disappearing means we can't see it again, we can't touch it, we can't feel it, we can't own it. When you lost something, you would look for it every where, to ever corner of the room until you found it. But can do it in love? When you lost someone you love, can you look for them, found them, and own them again? No, you can't. Well sometimes you can, but most of the time you can't. For some reason, love always gets away and never come back. Even if it comes back, it's just for say hello to you and then left.
Losing someone you love is like losing 1 ton of gold. Heart breaking and super sad. 
They are so priceless that you would do anything to keep them just for you and for ever.

You lost something. You looked for it. You found it. Then you lost it again and never found it. How much pain do you think that is? It's like falling from empire state building and landing on a matt full of needles. Painful!
You can lost a person who lives near you. But it is more possible if you lost a person who lives sooo fcking far away from you, isn't it?
I've been there. I lost someone I love because we were so far away. Then, I came back with a certain purpose, and seeing him is one of the reason, because I miss him so much. When I came back, we got along and I felt like I owned him again. As I went back to my real life, he supported me every single day. And yeah, it made me feel like the time when we were still together. Sadness filled my first week when I got to my real life. I miss him so much and also my mom and friends too. I video called him. I saw his face, heard his voice, touched his cheek on my laptop screen, and felt his presence. But that is never enough.
Oh God, what am I talking?? By the way, yeah I am so afraid if I'm going to lose him again. At least not now. Not in the same way. 
But what can I do when it happens? Let go. Yep! That's what my friend told me. You have to be strong. Because of your distance, you might lose him. That's why you have to let it go and move on. 
Like The Script said, "How can I move on when I still in love with you?"
Yes. How can I move on then? How? Tell me how? I don't even want to lose you, how can I forget you, leave you, and forget you?
I have done everything. I sacrifice everything. But still, I can't have it last forever.
Damn! It is so hard for me to write this one. I felt blue when I type this. That moment when I stared my computer laptop and saw your picture on it, made my tears came out.
You, me, and everyone has to be ready to face that losing-someone-or-something-moment. We have to be able to let it go and move on. But, if you can keep it. KEEP IT! Because once you got a diamond in your hands, no matter how old it is, it is priceless.

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