Monday, December 12, 2011

I just want a complete family, God!

For 6 years, since I graduated from elementary school, my dad left me and my mom in Bali. He went to America to wander *cieh*
I went through junior high school and high school only with my mom. I did everything with my mom, rarely with my friends.
There was one time when my aunt asked me, without mom, to go out with her family just to do grocery shopping. I agreed. But along the way I cried, because I never went anywhere without my mom accompanying me. Yes, I'm a spoiled brat. But that was me. I could never go anywhere without my mom, and I don't know why. Although it was hard for us to get along, but since that day, I never went to any place without her, until I was in my senior year in high school, I kept doing that. Lame? yeah, because if I went anywhere without her, I couldn't buy a thing. Hahahaa
I had a family moment, but only for a while in Indonesia, and that was when my dad came to pick me up. It was a really short time, but I enjoyed it so much. Every second I spent with them, I almost cried with happy tears though. It was sooo something :")
On August 2011, I got my visa, which meant I have to move later on. On that month too, my dad came to pick me up. And on September 2011, me and my dad flew from Jakarta to America, without my mom. It was so hard. I cried, she cried, he cried. It was definitely a group hugs and cries. It was a tough moment I ever had.
It has been 6 years I live with her. There's gotta be some connection between us more than just mother-daughter connection, it's a best friend connection. Yes, we didn't get along that much, but I felt like she is my best friend even I never talked to her about boys or other things like that.
And now, I am in United State of America in New York, one of the most wanted city to visit in this world, living with my dad, with my sister on North, my uncles on South, my mom on waaaay West, and Christmas just around the corner.
My only wish for this year Christmas is that I craving for a family Christmas, where I can celebrate it with my mom and my dad in the same city where I am now.
I am so so so freakingly jealous with those families, even my friend's family who can actually celebrate Christmas together.
For 6 years I had been celebrate it only with my mom without my dad. And this year, probably I will celebrate it with my dad without my mom.It's just sad. But what can I do except pray and ask to God. If this is his will, I'm gonna celebrate my first ever white Christmas here in New York with both my mom and dad, and it WILL be the most wonderful time of the year and my entire life.
Beside Christmas thingy, I also jealous seeing those people who always had their family moment every weekend, when they went to the mall, or having lunch in a restaurant, or just hanging out with a completely family. I always wondered when will that happen to me.
I do need money for living. But I rather have a complete family first, because when we have stayed together, it's easier for us to make money, to make fortune, and to make our dreams come true.
Togetherness matters, nothing else.
I have had the best moment over this (almost) a year of 2011. First, I graduated from HS. Second, got a BF. Third, got my visa. Fourth, arrived in New York City. Fifth, got the best birthday moment. Sixth, got to meet some celebrities. And the (lucky number) seventh, I would like to celebrate Christmas in NYC with mom and dad. If that happens, I'll tell you what would be next.
But until then, let's just pray for the best.
And yeah, I'm not the only one who's suffering for a family moment in Christmas time. 
My best friend, faniiepani, also has the exact same story as mine. Her father is here at NYC too. And we're craving to have that moment this year.
As I say, let's hope the best and let God do the rest.

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