Saturday, November 5, 2011

How can I apologize to you, Mom ?

Mom, I just realized how many sins I have made when you were with me.
I teased you. I hated you. I wished that you were not my mom. And some other things.
You loved me. You cared about me. You were always there when I needed you. You took care of me when I was sick.
But what did I ever give to you? NOTHING!
I can only made you stress with my bad attitudes to you. I can only asked without gave you anything.
I asked for this, you gave it. I asked for that, you also gave me that.
No matter how many times I've been hurting you, but you always love me and you never leave me alone.
I was a teenager, but I wasn't mature enough to see how much you care about me.
Now that you are away from me, I felt like there is some pieces that missing in me. 
I miss a person who always kissed my forehead every morning I woke up.
I miss a person who always crossed my forehead and blessed me when I went to school.
I miss a person who were always with me every where I went for window shopping.
I miss a person who always cooks for me.
I miss a person who always yelled at me.
I miss a person who always calling me every time I got home late.
I miss a person who always made stupid jokes.
I miss a person who always embarrassed me in front of my friends.
I miss a person who always spoiled me.
I miss a person who never told me to wash dishes
I miss a person who always help me applying from school to school.
I miss you mom. Yes, you MOM!
I don't know how can I express this feeling to you. I can't buy you gold or just a simple present. I can only wish for you to be here with me in this extraordinary city, which not many other moms can have.
This is my process to be a mature girl. And in this time, I realized how much you really meant for me and for my life.
Soon, this year, 2011, when you are here with us to celebrate Christmas, I will make that moment last forever. I don't want to make the same mistake.
While I'm around and you're around, I will try not to let you down any more.
I want to apologize to you. But how? Only say the words are not enough for.
I did too many bad things to you. And an "I'm sorry", is not enough.
But, before that day comes, I'm just going to say it," I am so sorry mommy for everything I had done to you. From now on, I will always try to love you, to respect you, and to make you happy. I'm gonna give the rest of my life to make you happy and to bring you to see this wonderful world that you haven't seen it before. Again, I am so sorry mother."

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