These couple of days, I called my mom via web-cam for skype.
I told her about my trip from one university to another. I told her I'm suffering in here because there is no one who can help me to apply for college in here. I told her that I cried the last time I called my friend.Basically, I told her about every single thing that happened to me a few days before.
I was giving up on finding the perfect school for me. That was because all the requirements are hard to find and it costs a lot to apply. I went to every university by myself while other kid came with their father or mother or even both. I felt ... empty. I felt that no one wanted to help me.
And at that time, I didn't get any support from anyone. All I got was pressure. Pressure how to get in to a certain college and how to get scholarship. That kind of pressure are new for me. Before, there was no one who gave me hard pressure like this. Every time I heard anything about scholarship, I got hungry.
I also got stress because I don't like the college which my dad choose.
I was so stressed thinking about THOSE.
On the phone, I told my mom about these. I said it with tears on my face. She got sad too.
And then she said, "Don't give up on what you wanted to do. You go there to school, so make it come true. Achieve your goal. Make your parents proud of you. Don't think about the location, but think about who are you going to be. If you couldn't get in for the Spring semester, you can go to Fall semester. Not being accepted in Spring semester, doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. You can always study in any season. Don't think about you friends will graduate sooner than you are. Age doesn't matter on your successful. If you felt lonely, just call me. I will always be here for you. And just so you know, I support you in everything you're gonna do. If you want to be a doctor, I support you. If you want to be an architect, I also support you. Just do anything you love. Because if you do that, when you're working, you'll get a lot of money and you can make you parents happy. Don't be upset if you can't get in the medical school. It might only needs some more time. But if you keep praying and ask to God for it, you will get it. Don't ever give up. We are here always support you no matter what college or what degree you're gonna get."
WOW! That was so something.
Then I thought what my mom said was completely correct. Why should I give up my future? I came here to study and to be a PERSON. I'm not just go here to show off,"hey I'm in NY" blablablaaaa ....
But, I'm here to build my own future, to make my parents proud of me, and to make my family dream's come true.
To make all of that come true, it needs time and miracle. Because nothing in this world happens without any of God's hand in it.
Since my talked with mom, everyone suddenly supporting me. And now, I am ready to apply for colleges around here. Cause I realized that I don't want to waste my time for doing nothing. I have to apply. I have to go to college. I have to be a doctor.
I don't want to let my parents down. I have to lift them up even sometime it hurts me so bad.
But just think how many years they have spent to collect money for your schoold, and for your future?
It's not equal if you're complaining about that stupid little thing called laziness.
Thank you so much mom for being there for me all the time and always supporting me even we can only see each other's face via web-cam.
I am so sorry for I have done to you before.
Now I knew that you really care about me.
I love you mom :*